14 Reasons Not To...

Dear Friends,

I have not done a blog post in quite a while, not because there has been nothing going on in our life, but just because it has happened in such rapid fire progression that I could not keep up with it.  However, I am saving all that for the next post and you will understand why when you read it.  This post is for parents of around 5th-grade children to college age or young single adults, maybe even young married adults if they have a tendency toward depression.

There is a series, not a movie but a series, on Netflix that focuses on teen suicide, called 13 Reasons Why.  It is loosely based on a novel by Jay Asher of the same title.  The Netflix series is much more graphic than the novel I am told.  I have not read the novel and I have not watched the series and I do not plan to watch it.  I have had to read enough case studies about suicide without having to watch it happen.

The reason I am writing this post is that your children are watching this series.  So far the reactions I have received to that statement are, "we do not have Netflix", "oh no, not my kids", etc.  All I can tell you is you are wrong!  An unofficial poll of church parents and teens found that 90% of parents said their teens did not know about it...80% had watched it or talked to friends about it.  

Kids are sharing Netflix passwords with friends and whether you think they have watched it or not I would be willing to bet that you are wrong.  All the kids are talking about it and they want to know what they are talking about so they can join in the conversation.

My problem with this series is that the "star" of the series, Hannah, is never offered any hope.  No one that she goes to pays attention to her or offers her any help.  If the makers of this series had truly wanted to bring awareness, as they say, to suicide they would have included some form of hope for Hannah, some offer of help to her for dealing with these feelings at some point in this series.

The title of the series comes from the fact that Hannah leaves behind tapes to the 13 people that she blames for her suicide, hence 13 reasons.  Each tape begins by calling the person by name and saying "here's your tape". This has even prompted a saying among young people when they get upset with someone, "here's your tape".  That is bad enough but it does not stop there.  This series has prompted copy-cat suicides.  You may be thinking this is far from us, far from you, far from me.  It is not.  In the Middle Tennessee area alone, there have been four that I have been made aware of since the series debuted March 29th of this year.  That is four too many.

What is the point?  Talk to your children...please!  Keep the lines of communication open on this subject.  Depression is not for adults only and it affects more and more children, teens, and young adults.  Please ask them point blank if they have watched this series or talked to their friends about it.  Ask them their thoughts on what they have seen.  There is a very graphic gang rape scene in addition to the suicide scene.  These are things that your child cannot "unsee".  If they are suddenly withdrawn or quiet, find out why!!!  Do not assume it is a phase.  Depression leads to suicidal thoughts.  Get them some professional help.  This is not a commercial for my services, I do not want anyone to get hurt or hurt themselves due to misinformation.

How do you offer them hope?  In John, Jesus offers us 14 reasons to live.  The 7 "I Am" statements and the 7 miracles.  No matter what someone has said or done to you or your child on this earth, these can offer such a greater hope than any earthly insult or comment that the devil can hurl at us.  God always offers us hope!  Please share it with your children.