A very dear friend of mine asked me a question today that I could not answer. I had not thought about the question so an answer just totally escaped me! It is not that I mind not knowing the answer near as much as I mind that I had not thought about the question!!!!
Today is Monday, July 18th and I had an infusion of Orencia (my fifth) for my rheumatoid arthritis. I had posted on Facebook about having the infusion and asked for prayer. It is not a particularly hard thing but I have a few side effects and have to drive to and from Franklin to get the infusion. Some of you may wonder what an infusion is. It is basically an IV of medication. The setup is a lot like a chemo treatment room but the atmosphere is not the same. It is really quieter. The chemo treatment rooms are a lot more uplifting and rightly so.
I go and they start the IV then we wait on my medication to get there. That part usually takes about 30 minutes and once the medication arrives it takes about 30 minutes for the actual treatment. During this time you can watch TV, read, listen to your IPod, etc.
At the beginning of the session today, one of the nurses asked what the significance of a Lamb and a Cross on neighbor's locket would mean. I misunderstood what she asked and didn't answer and then the other nurse explained the significance of the spotless Lamb before Christ and how that was how sin was atoned for and after Christ all sin was atoned for by Christ on the Cross. I felt so totally embarrassed! I was so busy concentrating on my pitiful little situation that I failed to see this Divine Appointment!! What was worse when put on the spot, I was not able to answer a simple question that any follower of Christ should be able to answer. However, that was NOT the question that bothered me so much!
My sweet friend, Genie Kingham, who was a part of a ladies Small Group I was in when we lived in Las Vegas, sent me a sweet note telling me she was praying for me and then asked me, "What is the Lord telling/showing you during this time?" I could not answer her........I had not thought about it! During Tom's illness, I searched for what God was saying everywhere. His Word, His people, in song, the circumstances, through prayer.....everywhere I had learned God speaks. But I had not stopped to see where God was speaking through my illness. I mean it isn't cancer or anything terminal, it can be progressively debilitating but the side effects of the medication would do more harm me before the RA will. "What is the Lord telling/showing me during this time?" I haven't listened to find out!!
Needless to say, I am now challenged to find out what God is showing/telling me during this time of my life. I think I saw point #1 today. I get to spend about 2 hours or more once a month in a small room with a nurse that is not a follower of Christ by her own admission today. WOW!
I will definitely be watching, waiting, and listening to see what the other things are that God has to show me through this "thorn in my flesh" (2 Cor. 12:7). As most all of you know, I am not a patient person and this disease at times puts me down and keeps me down. Maybe that is where Point #2 lies. I will let you know when I find out!
Thank you for the prayers! FYI, Tom is getting stronger all the time. We come up on the all important 2 year mark in March 2012.
In Him!
Jan
Love the post! Don't cha hate it when you get a "duh" moment and you instantly feel that heavy,"I've let you down" feeling in your heart. You may have missed an opportunity with this treatment but your experience has helped.ME! I went into nursing because I wanted opportunities just like the one you had yesterday. I have got refocused for my day and put my eyes back on Jesus! Hang in there!:)
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